what you say may make a impact on someones life (intro)

I would like to go into what I have that is causing my "disease", before I get into a general title of what I have, because I already know fingers will start typing away to look up the name of "disease" because theres alot to it. The internet gives you a quater of it. I know I’ve looked. That’s why I’ve been hesitant to say what I actually have. Everyone that has this disease have very different experiences and symptoms. Since I started to learn about my disease, I told one or two ppl I got the typical “it’ll be okay”, “you’ll be fine”, the famous “there’s ppl so much worse then you”, answer It made me feel like I didnt "have the right to complain, when there was so much worse out there"I started to bury all of my feelings. When I needed to expand and started slowly opening up to ppl. I neglected, joked, and laughed the seriousness this all off and someone asked me “how are you doing with this? How do you feel about everything?” after I laughed it all off and shrugged and said "it’s okay because there’s other ppl worse off" (God bless them) but it wasn’t until that person responded "yes, but it’s YOU and they are not YOU" (Sometimes the simplest things we say to ppl make a big impact.) It hit me since the first time sitting in the silence of my car by myself after finding out that I might have this disease, that I realized it’s okay to accept that I have this going on and its okay if I don’t feel okay, its okay if I don’t want to say that Im fine. I learned that I am allowed to have my own experience with this and not compare myself or the disease to other people or what they have gone through. Because of all this I wanted to keep it to myself till I found the proper way for ME to let ppl know what I am going through.

My life lesson in this is :

I should never dismiss what someone is going through, just because it doesnt seem THAT bad to ME. because I am not them, I will never really know what they are going through, so remember to open my heart before I open my ears and open my ears before I open my mouth